So, after the longest three weeks of my life. A week ago, I finally received my results through the post, of my mole removal and biopsy.
I know three weeks doesn’t sound a lot, but it dragged so much. Every day I’d come home from work and check the post box. Nothing. For three whole weeks! The longer time went on, the more my anxiety built up. Worry and doubt raced through my mind, every day.
When the day finally arrived I was actually at college on the evening at my creative writing course. I checked my phone at break time and I had a text from my Mam telling me the news and a photo of the letter. I’d of course given her permission to open any letters should I not be in the house straight after work.
I could have cried right there and then with total relief. Relief that I could see it, read it with my own eyes, the word ‘non-cancerous’. Happiness, overwhelmingness and luckiness, are the things I felt that evening. I could barely concentrate for the rest of my class, all I really wanted to do was drive home and have a stiff glass of wine to celebrate.
It’s only really when these things happen in life that we really value our lives and appreciate everyone around us, appreciate moments and experiences. I know this sounds a little dramatic because many people, every day get moles removed but it was a period of time, certainly in my life, that felt like my life was flashing before my eyes.
At first, I took the whole situation with a pinch of salt, like oh, I’ll be fine. No biggie, but it is a biggie and the whole prospect of possibly having skin care was terrifying. I talked about the horror when I saw how big my scar was the first time I saw it in my last post but since I wrote that it’s healed so well. Every day it dramatically gets less red and smaller. I am absolutely thrilled with the results and that’s been really positive for me. Makeup virtually covers it all and I’m learning to live with it.
I think the ‘C’ word immediately scares and shocks anyone who hears it in certain circumstances. It’s such a vicious and poisonous word. I hate it. January was a very weird month and period of time for me but I’m just so glad its over and now I can live my life without fear. Some people aren’t so lucky and that’s the reason why I wanted to share this journey with everyone.
I mentioned in the first post, part 1, here, that writing about my experience wasn’t for attention, nor was it for sympathy. I’ve done this to raise awareness. I have built and crafted a platform here on Zest Of Alice of which I can voice my opinions and life turmoils to whoever wants to read it and if I can project this message to at least one young person than I’ll happy.
Looking after your skin, looking after you as a whole, is the most important thing. Self-care is everything.
It saddens and shocks me at how little Melanoma is talked about in the media and I just wonder why isn’t it talked about as much as other cancers? What will it take for it to be talked about? I will continue to bang the drums around Melanoma and do my utmost to spread the word.
From sharing my story, I’ve gotten to know some incredible people, especially the team from MelanomeMe, a local charity who I mentioned in part 1. I am so grateful to have gained their support throughout my journey. They’ve helped me more than they’ll ever know.
My Mam has also been my rock through the whole of this process and without her by my side, holding my hand and wiping away the tears, I would have crumbled. Going through this really made me apperciate the bonds and relaitionships in my life. Mam, I love you!
My boyfriend, who is one of the most laidback people I know, has taken my mind off every bad thought I’ve had in the last three weeks. His attitude to life has certainly rubbed off on me and made me realise that worrying about a situation you can’t change will never make it better, just worse and that it’s just wasted energy. Thank you Jorden, your faith and belief that ‘everything will be fine’ has kept me going. You’re the best!
Life really is too short and now, I’m gonna’ keep myself healthy. Look after myself the best I can, eat good, exercise, sleep and love! Never take anything or anyone for granted in life. I’ll continue being me, my happy and animated self and move on.
Ps, I’d like to say a huge thank you to everyone who’s gone out of their way to drop me a message. It’s been noted and it’s humbled me all of your support and love.
*In collaboration with WearAll.