Ask yourself this, are you grown up? All my friends, are engaged, have houses, have babies and then there’s me. Living at home with my Mam, in full-time employment and in a long-term, happy relationship. Should I be moving on with my life? By moving on, I mean, should I be saving for a mortgage with my other half? Should we be considering moving in together yet? Should we be planning our life together at the tender age of 21 and 23? I don’t think so, but society is telling me I should be.
I’ve been with my Mr for a year and a half, we’re serious about each other. We both have that attitude that if we didn’t see a future with each other, then we wouldn’t be together. All or nothing. I feel very secure in my relationship and we’re really happy with how our relationship works. We don’t live together, we don’t spend every second of the day together and we lead our own lives. He works shifts, days, backs and nights, whereas I work 9-5; therefore, we don’t see each other as often as we’d like but we’re spending a lot more time together now since he’s learnt to drive this year. He can just finish a shift now and come straight to my house and it works. We barely argue we both understand each enough to know we need our own space and time. We love being together and having ‘us’ time but equally, we know ME time is necessary. I’m an only child, I’ve learned to love being alone and he gets that. We’re just in sync with each other. There’s this huge pressure in society that we should now be starting to think about our future, simply because everyone else is doing it. I don’t know whether it’s a Northern thing, but that’s what’s expected for us up here in the North. You find someone, you settle down and you grow up.
What’s made me think about this, was a recent storyline on TOWIE. I know, I know, many of you reading this might not watch it but basically, one of the main characters Georgia Kousoulu has been in a relationship with her fella for three years now and she’s feeling immense burden to get married or even have kids and she’s just not at that place in her life right now. She feels like she should have her life in order since she’s 25 but she hasn’t and it’s been causing her a lot of stress. I could really relate to it, not that I’m that unhappy with my life or am affected by it, but I got it. Loads of people say to me and Jorden “Are yous saving for a house yet?’ Hell no. Then they look at us like there’s something wrong with us? It’s almost like these people think we don’t love each other or something.
So why is that we haven’t even considering moving in together yet? Because we absolutely LOVE the lifestyle we lead. We’ve got this want to travel and explore. This year alone, we’ve been on three holidays and a few weekends away. Ever since I met Jorden, we’ve travelled. Within the first six months of our relationship, we’d been to Amsterdam and Paris. He’s really brought that travel bug out of me, to be honest, and as have I for him. Our plans for next year include NOT saving for a house and saving for a holiday to America. We have it way to good at our parent’s houses too. Myself and Jorden also go out a lot, we treat ourselves, we go for lovely meals, cocktails and days out, we buy each other presents and so we should. We’re almost still in our honeymoon period where we’re still learning things about each other and each other’s lives. I’d like to keep this spark between us going for as long as I can. There’s absolutely no rush for us, we don’t want to lead a life of debt just yet. We want to live our lives for us first before anything or anyone.
In the future, I see myself and Jorden really settling down. Saving for a house and building our life together. At the minute, we’re doing us. We’re making memories for kids and grandkids.
Do you feel a pressure to be an adult and grown up? I ask you this, at what point do we grow up? or should we grow up? There’s no right or wrong answer it’s about when you’re ready, not when society tells us to be ready.
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