At What Point In Our Lives Are We Supposed to Grow Up?

Red Cardigan – PrettyLittleThing | T-Shirt – Quiz | Jeans – PrettyLittleThing | Boots – Primark

Ask yourself this, are you grown up? All my friends, are engaged, have houses, have babies and then there’s me. Living at home with my Mam, in full-time employment and in a long-term, happy relationship. Should I be moving on with my life? By moving on, I mean, should I be saving for a mortgage with my other half? Should we be considering moving in together yet? Should we be planning our life together at the tender age of 21 and 23? I don’t think so, but society is telling me I should be.

I’ve been with my Mr for a year and a half, we’re serious about each other. We both have that attitude that if we didn’t see a future with each other, then we wouldn’t be together. All or nothing. I feel very secure in my relationship and we’re really happy with how our relationship works. We don’t live together, we don’t spend every second of the day together and we lead our own lives. He works shifts, days, backs and nights, whereas I work 9-5; therefore, we don’t see each other as often as we’d like but we’re spending a lot more time together now since he’s learnt to drive this year. He can just finish a shift now and come straight to my house and it works. We barely argue we both understand each enough to know we need our own space and time. We love being together and having ‘us’ time but equally, we know ME time is necessary. I’m an only child, I’ve learned to love being alone and he gets that. We’re just in sync with each other. There’s this huge pressure in society that we should now be starting to think about our future, simply because everyone else is doing it. I don’t know whether it’s a Northern thing, but that’s what’s expected for us up here in the North. You find someone, you settle down and you grow up.

 

What’s made me think about this, was a recent storyline on TOWIE. I know, I know, many of you reading this might not watch it but basically, one of the main characters Georgia Kousoulu has been in a relationship with her fella for three years now and she’s feeling immense burden to get married or even have kids and she’s just not at that place in her life right now. She feels like she should have her life in order since she’s 25 but she hasn’t and it’s been causing her a lot of stress. I could really relate to it, not that I’m that unhappy with my life or am affected by it, but I got it. Loads of people say to me and Jorden “Are yous saving for a house yet?’ Hell no. Then they look at us like there’s something wrong with us? It’s almost like these people think we don’t love each other or something.

So why is that we haven’t even considering moving in together yet? Because we absolutely LOVE the lifestyle we lead. We’ve got this want to travel and explore. This year alone, we’ve been on three holidays and a few weekends away. Ever since I met Jorden, we’ve travelled. Within the first six months of our relationship, we’d been to Amsterdam and Paris. He’s really brought that travel bug out of me, to be honest, and as have I for him. Our plans for next year include NOT saving for a house and saving for a holiday to America. We have it way to good at our parent’s houses too. Myself and Jorden also go out a lot, we treat ourselves, we go for lovely meals, cocktails and days out, we buy each other presents and so we should. We’re almost still in our honeymoon period where we’re still learning things about each other and each other’s lives. I’d like to keep this spark between us going for as long as I can. There’s absolutely no rush for us, we don’t want to lead a life of debt just yet. We want to live our lives for us first before anything or anyone.

In the future, I see myself and Jorden really settling down. Saving for a house and building our life together. At the minute, we’re doing us. We’re making memories for kids and grandkids.

Do you feel a pressure to be an adult and grown up? I ask you this, at what point do we grow up? or should we grow up? There’s no right or wrong answer it’s about when you’re ready, not when society tells us to be ready.

 

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14 Comments

  • Reply Sally Morgan-Moore November 24, 2017 at 11:57 am

    Here here! Think I offloaded this this on your insta post, but now I’ve read this, I’m going to reiterate it further…It annoys me how since my husband and I got married, people are literally WAITING for us to announce I’m pregnant, I swear! Well, they’re still waiting 3 years later, because we just don’t play things that way! Life shouldn’t be a milestone checklist! The only checklist we should adhere to is our own PERSONAL goals and passions. Lloyd and I are not done travelling, not done experiencing, and not gained maternal and paternal instinct in the slightest yet; AND THAT’S OK! Even if we NEVER gain it, it’s STILL OK!
    Preach, girl! Live life by your own clock xx
    Sally.
    https://www.sallymorganmoore.com

    • Reply Alice November 24, 2017 at 3:21 pm

      Love this Sally, I can only imagine the pressure you two must feel! So annoying isn’t it! You need to live your life for YOU before you starting living for a child! Do you and don’t care what anyone else thinks xx

  • Reply Poppy Mayy November 24, 2017 at 1:41 pm

    I absolutely loved this post Alice! I live in London and to be honest we don’t feel the pressure as much to get a mortgage, as I’m sure you’re aware London housing prices are shocking! I’ve been with my man on and off for eight years and we only moved in together six months ago! There’s honestly no rush and society should stop pushing you to do so. I say keep enjoying your lives together and do whatever you want to do! Keep doing you because you’re doing an amazing job.

    • Reply Alice November 24, 2017 at 3:22 pm

      You’re so lucky! Haha yeah you’re right no need to rush at all! I agree massively xx

  • Reply Meera November 24, 2017 at 3:43 pm

    This is a really interesting topic! Personally, I think 21 and even 25 is still so young to be getting married and having kids. Recently I was discussing something with someone and they mentioned that they would like their 22 year old daughter to get married soon, I was shocked! Great topic of discussionx

    LoneTeenTraveller | Travel Fashion Lifestyle

    • Reply Alice November 27, 2017 at 9:33 am

      Thanks Meera! It is! I think it’s too young too. I can’t believe someone said that my Mam would die if I went in and told her I was getting married haha! x

  • Reply Nicola November 24, 2017 at 10:29 pm

    im 26yr and i’ve been with my partner 8yr now so we always get asked when we are getting married or having kids sometimes I feel like doing it just to shut them up ha! Although I’m actually not a big marriage person and too into my career at the moment for kids! I have however had a mortgage for the last 2 year but it’s totally all down to when your ready not ticking a box xx

    • Reply Alice November 27, 2017 at 9:35 am

      You’re at a really nice age! How lovely that you’ve been with your partner for that long! I still think I’d feel to young at your age too! There really isn’t any rush is there?! You’re right, only when you’re ready x

  • Reply Emily November 26, 2017 at 5:48 pm

    I’m 21 and have been with my boyfriend nearly 3 years. The only big step we’ve taken is to move in together and we are both completely happy with that. So many people around our age are getting married or are having kids and that makes me think ‘should I be doing that?’ but I honestly don’t feel we’re both at the age yet where we’d be responsible enough for that! It’s way too young for us and we’re happy just living together and taking each day at a time! x

    • Reply Alice November 27, 2017 at 9:38 am

      That is a big step! I’m pleased it’s working for you! You have to do what makes you happy x

  • Reply Gina November 27, 2017 at 8:58 am

    This outfit is so so cute! You look amazing (also loving the hair too ) x

    • Reply Alice November 27, 2017 at 9:39 am

      Thanks lovely! x

  • Reply Beth Webb November 27, 2017 at 5:46 pm

    I’m 25 and the thought of getting married actually scares the hell out of me! Also, renting in London means that there’s no way I can start saving for a mortgage, I barely have enough money for dinner! So do what you want to do and don’t listen to what people think should be happening!

    Beth x

    https://isthisseattaken.net

    • Reply Alice November 28, 2017 at 10:06 am

      Ah thanks for the lovely words Beth! I feel for you living down there I really do! Bless you x

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